What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How external is "for external use only"?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
