smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
