you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
