just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
