hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
