im drinking this country out of the recession.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
