You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
