Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
