My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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