physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
