we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
