So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
