Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
