I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
