You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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