how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
