The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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