A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
