he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
