using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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