So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
