One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
