Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
