Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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