whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
