Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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