If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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