When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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