But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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