It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
