went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I look better un-naked...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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