I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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