i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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