I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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