I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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