Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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