I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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