Your tits are I can't wait for
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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