yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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