I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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