i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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