I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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