I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
