Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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