i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
