My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
