do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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