just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
