my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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