i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
