i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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